When I was a child I felt an external and internal tension. There seemed to be so much work to be done and no finish line. There were very few pauses in life. Mostly there was push to get done that which could never be finished! Rarely do I remember feeling peaceful, satisfied, or accomplished. I strove to be good, to anticipate what needed to be done, to make peace, and keep others happy. I was an achiever and wanted more than anything to be perfect so I could feel good about myself. I used perfectionism as a means to get outside recognition and acceptance. The facade of being perfect was an attempt to hide the deep guilt and shame I felt about not being good enough. I didn’t feel I was acceptable just being me. I had few opportunities to be seen,heard, and cherished for merely being myself.
As I continue to do my own inner healing work I have uncovered this deep wound of feeling unworthy to exist and be loved. Through the gift of expressive arts I have discovered the healing medicine of Sacred Recognition – being seen and heard – witnessed by myself and others in my unique beauty without any attachment to needing to do anything to earn,gain, or deserve such recognition.
This healing balm is changing everything in my life. I am now aware of my unique being as gift and finding self love and deep peace.
Perhaps such medicine, if taken and given daily could provide deep healing for any who risk taking it.
