Learning to be an adult….

Hello Friends –

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking these past few days about the importance of trusting myself as a capable, intelligent, creative adult.

It is both bewildering and humorous that I have internal oppositional dialogues going on within myself.

One part saying, “You’re doing great! I’m so proud of you! Keep doing what you’re doing!” and another part saying, “You aren’t really where you are suppose to be…you’re failing, you’re miserably selfish, lazy, and so rigid!” And other parts with their equally interesting opinions.

How to work with all these parts?

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How to get us all around the table to drink tea and eat dessert together? (I’m not sure they could agree on the menu or if they all think such a gathering is a good idea!) This certainly takes an emotionally mature adult to respectfully call together all the parts to build a strong community working together for the common good, rather than each self interest clammering for its power and position.

Thankfully after living 61 years, I am beginning to feel like an adult more of the time!

“What does being an adult feel like?” you ask.

Good question!

Here’s my incomplete answer to that thought-provoking question you’ve asked. Being an adult means having:

  • The basic premise in place that I can set proper boundaries to ensure my safety, that I am capable of knowing my needs and can ask for what I need.  I am capable, lovable, creative, and have important gifts to offer the world.
  • The ability to have  a bigger perspective on life beyond what is happening right now.
  • The capacity to hold contradiction of feelings.  For example I can move ahead being courageous and scared at the same time.
  •  I have the ability to witness myself with curiosity rather than judgment.
  • I am learning how to respond to a situation rather than react emotionally.

So on a good day of “adulting”, when I want to stand in front of the family and throw a tantrum because I can’t find something I need right now and I’m sure I put it away but some member of the family has moved it, I can take a couple of deep breaths, maybe walk away and regain perspective and even laugh.

There is a great gift in trusting oneself as a capable, intelligent, creative adult.

 

 

 

 

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